Whats With Edward and the 80's?
by Fiica De Cea Stele
Summary: Ever wondered why Edward hated the 80's? Now with the help of the all mighty Emmett and the oh so charming Jasper, you'll know why.
1. And So It Begins

DISCLAIMER

I was looking at Edward, a different Edward that is, with a hideous blue bell bottom jeans and a very tacky blue and white striped button up shirt with oversized collars, looking every bit as uncomfortable a vampire can get.

The large photo album that I was looking through not moments ago fell from my hands with a thud and I was on hysterics.

Who wouldn't laugh when they see their 108 yr old husband wearing clothes that would be considered tacky this days?

I don't know if I can hurt myself by laughing this hard even though I'm a vampire now, it's still hard to forget those human traits.

I heard my husband running to come and see what happened when he reached the attic his eyes suddenly bulged. In a flash he has the photo album behind his back.

"I believe we had a serious conversation about this love?" he asked with a glare.

I laughed even harder. "I just...can't ...stand...not...knowing!" I said between throws of laughter.

As much as I love my husband, I still hate it when he doesn't talk about pretty much everything that has happened in his past.

"You really want to know love?" he asked thoughtfully.

I didn't realize that I let my shield down.

Maybe that's because nothing is disturbing our eternity.

After the whole Volturi stint 2 decades ago, and after Nessie and Jacob's wedding and the birth of our grandchildren, nothing much has happened so why would I put it up?

The Volturi even promised that they would help us whenever we need them. Because of our link with the highest rulers of the vampire world, what creature with a brain of its own will try to get in trouble with us?

"Would you let me?" I asked him sweetly, well not really, I was dazzling him.

He looked at me for a few minutes lost again in my eyes.

Not so long ago after I was changed, we, I mean the whole family, discovered that I had another power.

Compulsion, in layman's terms, dazzling, well they considered it as a power but I really think that it isn't because Edward has been doing this to me since I was a human, so I don't really consider this as a gift.

I never really use this unless it's an emergency.

"Bella! You know I can never refuse you specially when you do THAT on me!" he said exasperated.

I sighed, this will never do. "I'm sorry I know its wrong to take advantage of you like that, but just tell me why wouldn't you like me to see some photos of you back in the 80's? I mean you let me see pictures of you back in the 1900's until the 70's and some much more recent pictures but what's with the 80's particularly?" I asked him for the nine hundredth and sixty fifth time since I found a photo album.

"You...uh! You know Bella, I would kill to give everything you want but I-I can't do this one! Please Bella? Just let this one pass? You know my life ended when I was changed and it started back up when I met you, so there's pretty much nothing interesting in my past. So just please, love, you know I love you, isn't that enough?" He said clearly wanting to let me drop the subject.

"Fine, I'm sorry love, I didn't mean to force you but—just forget about it okay? Sorry." I said with all my devotion and we shared a meaningful hug and kiss afterward.

"Remember Bella, Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Rosalie and I are going hunting. You'll stay here with Jasper and Emmett. I know that things could go a bit out of hand when it comes with those two so just be careful and have fun. Bye love." Edward said before leaving after I said my farewell.

"Oh we will, love. Don't worry about it." I said when they're finally out of hearing range.

"So little sister? When shall we start?" I turned around to look at Emmet and Jasper, both men with a smug smile and an evil glint in their eyes, and said "There is no better time than the present my brother." I answered with the same look in my face before we erupted in boisterous evil laughter.

"Now, now my dear siblings, let's get going. We wouldn't want to keep this secret to ourselves now don't we Emmet?" Jasper said with a very mischievous tone.

"Hell yeah!" then we took off to god-knows-where and I can't help to get excited.

After all, all I said to Edward was sorry, I never promised that I won't do it again or I won't find out myself or with the help of anybody right?


	2. And Then They Run

We've been running for almost 2 hours now.

Ask me where? Well, I have no idea.

I personally think that we're going in no specific direction at all!

Then all of a sudden, both Emmett and Jasper stopped and faced me with the most serious face I've ever seen, and they looked so awkward with stern eyes that I just had to laugh!

My hands went around my stomach and when I looked back up to face them, I fell on my knees and I laughed harder than before because the look on their faces was priceless!

It took me a minute to regain my composure. "Okay sorry. Now what is it that you want?" I said before giggling like a maniac.

"What the hell? Who are you and what have you done to Bella?" Emmett said still eyeing me suspiciously, like I've grown another head.

"Oh shut up! Don't blame me! It isn't everyday you see two usually crazy vampires with straight faces that looks so weird on them right?" I retorted back and for full effect I stuck my tongue out on him.

"What now? You're telling me that the magnificent Emmett doesn't look charming with a straight face on? From which planet did you come from because no living, dead or living dead creature on this glorious planet doesn't appreciate the beauty of Emmett the Great!" He exclaimed with a fake British accent.

"What the-" My supposedly witty remark was cut off by a loud smack created by Jasper hitting Emmett behind his head.

"Now would you two cut it out?" he said clearly annoyed.

I hung my head down low, embarrassed and feeling bad for making my brother mad.

From my side I heard Emmett snickering.

"Sorry Jazz." I said. I waited for Emmett's apology and when I realized that he wasn't planning on doing one anytime soon, I elbowed him on his side, hard.

"Ow!" he turned to look at me mouthing what-was-that-for and I widened my eyes and motioned my head to Jasper "Oh yeah what she said."

"Good, now" he turned to face me. "Bella, are you sure you really want to find out?" He asked.

I nodded my head, probably too hard.

"Do you promise that once you know what you want to know, you wouldn't let _him _know that you know and that we helped you know what you will know?"

I took my time understanding what Emmett said and answered "Yes."

"Do you also promise that you will not let _him _know that we still have _it _and we're not planning on throwing _it _anytime soon?"

I didn't hesitate, even for a second in saying "Of course I wouldn't! Forever can get boring you know! Sometimes we need a good doze of laughter, so now what? Are you FINALLY going to show me?"

"Why didn't you say so? Come on! Let's go! I want to see your face once you've seen what's Eddie's dirty little secret!" he finished with an evil laugh.

Jasper and I laughed at him, soon enough we were out again running through the forest while laughing.

After 30 more minutes of pure excruciating excitement, we stopped.

"Here we are!" Emmett shouted.

I looked around and really got confused.

"What the hell? We're back home!" I exclaimed, really annoyed.

"No we're not! We're in the backyard! _It _is here in the backyard!" Emmett said in a 'duh' tone.

I looked at Emmett disbelievingly and turned to look at Jasper.

"Yup!" Jasper said popping the –p with a smug look on his face.

"What the? -" Breathe Bella, breathe. I chanted silently to myself like a mantra while running both of my hands through my hair and pinching the bridge of my nose, a habit I picked up from Edward.

They OBVIOUSLY have a GOOD reason to make me run for 2 AND A HALF HOURS WHILE WEARING NOTHING UNCOMFORTABLE OR SENSIBLE BUT A THOUSAND DOLLAR PAIR OF 6 INCH-JIMMY CHOOS!

I mentally screamed!

Jasper, obviously sensing my evident fury, sent me waves of calm and I snapped my head at him with a look saying 'try me' on my face and he automatically stopped.

After a good minute was spent with me, my mantra and my controlled breathing, while the boys were cowering with fear, I finally regained my composure.

"Okay. Would you care to explain to me why and what was that for?" I asked calmly and properly, oh not to mention decently!

Emmett and Jasper looked at each other, probably mentally debating who should explain.

"Well?" I continued with my calm composure.

Finally, Jasper sighed and mumbled something along the lines of 'you are so going to pay for this if I get killed later'.

"Fine, the running for two and a half hour thing, well, it was supposed to make your scent go everywhere and make it look like we were just fooling around. And exactly why _it _is here in the backyard well, Emmett thought it was a great a idea since I'm running out of sensible ones why not?" He finished with a shrug.

Oh man!

These two are so messed up!

I took a deep breath, better not waste my breath for something that even nature itself can't control right?

"So? Do you still want to see _it _or will you spend the rest of your time thinking about how great we are to find a hiding spot as great as this?" Emmett asked.

"Fine. Come on I can't wait any longer!" I exclaimed.

"Now that's a good girl. Come on!" Emmett boomed and laughed evilly before disappearing into the garage and coming back with a shovel in hand.

While Emmett was busy digging, apparently they didn't find 6 feet a safe enough depth so they decided to go 50 feet under, a question popped into my head.

"Jasper, how come Edward, or any other member of the family, didn't know about this when it's only in our freaking backyard?" I asked curiously.

"Well, we hid it with other stuff that when Edward starts to hear us think of he'll immediately try to block us off, successfully hiding it from him." He stated proudly.

I tilted my head to the side thinking what kinds of things those could be.

"And what are those things may I ask?" I continued.

"Well—" Emmett tried to explain to me but he got cut off by Jasper saying "You probably wouldn't want to know."

I already knew what 'kinds of things' those are and I wouldn't want to know about my brothers ' love life in fear of an eternity of too much graphic images.

Ew!

"Yes!" Emmett boomed.

"Found it! Now Jazzy dear would you want to help me lift our treasure?" Emmett asked.

"Fine." Jasper huffed. "And don't call me that!" he added.

Jasper jumped to the hole that Emmett dug and appeared afterward with Emmett and a treasure chest in between them.

They gracefully put it down in front of me and Jasper reached into his back pockets and revealed a key. He unlocked the chest and the two men grinned like a rabid squirrel.


End file.
